It's Thanksgiving Day, which in this day and age means many stores are already open, bursting with Black Friday bargains. Here at Reading With Hippos, we're obviously all about books--and books can make great gifts for just about anyone on your shopping list. 

However, there are some books out there that really don't belong under a Christmas tree. So in the spirit of the season, here's a list of ten books you probably shouldn't buy for your loved ones this year.

1. Raquel: Beyond the Cleavage

I'm sure this one is a good book, I'm just bitter because it's the same subtitle I planned to use for my own memoir someday.

2. The Origin of Feces: What Excrement Tells Us About Evolution, Ecology, and a Sustainable Society

A great Darwinian title paired with a poop theme. Can't miss.

And from the fiction shelves...

3. Eye of the Moonrat

Overheard at every Christmas dinner table: "Pass the bowl of souls, please. And the pepper."

4. Murder With Puffins

Because what's a murder mystery without birds? (Also, punniest cover blurb ever.)

5. Imperfect Harmony: How to Stay Married for the Sake of Your Children and Still Be Happy

Step one: don't leave this book lying around where the children can find it. The jig is up!

And speaking of kids, don't forget the young readers in your life! 

6. Dear Napoleon, I Know You're Dead, But...

What is the end of that sentence? Seriously, where could that question possibly lead?

7. What's That Smell? A Kid's Guide to Keeping Clean

Why waste time gifting this book? Just be direct and wrap up a bar of soap for the smelly kid.

8. Sad Underwear and Other Complications: More Poems for Children and Their Parents

Because kids should be supervised when reading about underwear, no matter how said underwear is feeling.

9. Rush Revere and the First Patriots: Time-Travel Adventures With Exceptional Americans

Nothing says unbiased historical reporting like superimposing your own face on a cartoon and implying you were present for the Boston Tea Party.

And my personal favorite, truly in the spirit of the holiday season:

10. When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting On With Our Lives

Because the least Mom can do is buy it with her own money.

If you're looking for some books that your loved ones might actually want to read, check out our Recommendations page. Of course, topping everyone's list this year: a Reading With Hippos T-shirt.  

Happy holidays, everybody, and happy gift buying!